Sub 1/8th ton (248.4)

248.4... Bears are rallying on news of Brian dipping below the 1/8th or a ton mark for the first time in over 15 months of trading. Look for reliance on green vegetables and silly sprinting in the corner in coming week, with the bears hoping to get down to 245 by Saturday morning. In other news, Brian is getting notably stronger from his lifting and sprinting, and that muscle will be earning him passive income the rest of the season. Go Bears